Sega Smash Pack Game by Sega/THQ/CODEFIRE Reviewed by Philip "Pocket Squirrel" Wesley Size: 32 megabits Save: Passwords.......... Released: 2002 Works with: Game Boy Advance and up. Rated: E (Mild animated violence.......) **************************************************************************** Opening Snide Remarks: I love Sega. I like every game here, aside from Ecco. I had to get it! Apparently.. it was rushed? Because this game is terrible. I know I should wait to tell you in the review; but just do NOT buy this game. I think you should RUN AWAY from this game. FAR AWAY from this game. Go! Get going! RUN! Or stick around and see why you should have run. **************************************************************************** Gameplay Descripion: Because there are three games here, let me break it in to three parts. Ecco: Float around as a dolphin doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING until you come across small puzzles and such. You can talk to other dolphins and swim around aimlessly. It's like Myst; but with 700% LESS storyline and 500% more aimlessness... Golden Axe: Most people will buy this game for this part of it. It's a side scrolling beat-em-up ala Double Dragon; but in a Fantasy Setting ala Lord of the Rings. You choose to be either the warrior, the dwarf, or the amazon and you must take up a huge amount of the screen as you beat up enemies you probably won't even see. You have magic you can use to clear the screen of enemies as well as creatures you can ride on to attack with. The game was awesome on the Genesis and supported two players as well as dueling. This supports dueling. It's also missing a lot of things like various songs. It appears to be the least butchered up of the three games; but even Golden Axe is unplayable in this form. Sonic Spinball: The often under appreciated Pinball game with Sonic, I loved it on the Genesis. The game is here, more or less; but thanks to the graphics SIZE, it is virtually unplayable. Thank you. I used to love the bonus stage in this game because it contained characters like Princess Sally, Bunny Rabot, and Antione from the cartoon series. But I can't even enjoy that in this form thanks to.. well.. look below. Liked: ............... Hated: Nothing is how I remember it at all... I can't even be nostalgic with this game. **************************************************************************** Graphics Description: Pixel perfect? No. Zoomed in to where it affects gameplay badly? YES. While decently detailed, the fact remains that it's nearly impossible to play these games with the ways the graphics are zoomed in. The graphics are sparse and glitchy in Ecco, zoomed in too much in Golden Axe, and in Sonic.. It's like covering up the top half of the screen while playing the Genesis version. It's not supposed to be like this. Liked: Looks good............................................ sort of. Hated: But the graphics are so zoomed in that it hinders gameplay. Lots of graphic errors to. O_o **************************************************************************** Sound/Music Description: Take out your favorite book, now take out a marker and cross out the words "THE" and "A" everytime they appear. Now try reading it out loud without those words. That is how the sound is in this game. It got BUTCHERED. It sounds like someone is playing it through a metal tube. Look at Phantasy Star Collection. That is how a Genesis/Master system port should sound. The music is just so incredibly bland, tinny, and butchered that it offends the senses. Liked: Volume control................. but..... part of what I loved about these games when I played them a long time ago.. was the MUSIC. I hate this. Hated: Everything. **************************************************************************** Play Control/Game Design: You can assign button uses in each game. L and R for left and right flippers is the best in Sonic Spinball. This game had to have been rushed; because I KNOW Codefire can do better than this. I was really disappointed.... really disappointed. Liked: You can edit the play control..................... Hated: But you won't want to play it. **************************************************************************** Improve: Port Genesis games CORRECTLY. Seriously. Also, a written apology would be nice. RIYL: I would say Sega.. but.... no. I'm not going to mention them. **************************************************************************** Final Words: Imagine taking a Monkey. Monkies are GOOD things. Now, stick the Monkey into a machine and remove everything good about Monkeys. Pretty much vaporize the little guy and leave only a toe or something. Now stuff the toe into a tiny box and try to sell it as a whole monkey. Now, a Monkey TOE could be decent.. if it weren't for the fact that people know about the full Monkey. The WHOLE Monkey and nothing but the ENTIRE Monkey. People WANT the full Monkey. This is not the full Monkey. This is full Monkey priced; but it is not the full Monkey. I like my Monkey and sadly, I feel sad that this is not an entire Monkey. This is a horribly disfigured Monkey. A Monkey Toe with a hang nail. It really is that bad. If it were a full Monkey and this bad, at least I could spank it and call it bad. But this.. "game" is not even worth that. **************************************************************************** Score Gameplay: * Graphics: * Sound/Music: 0 Play Control/Game Design: 0 Personal Opinion: 0 Total: 2 of 25 Final Score: 8% **************************************************************************** Currently Known Codes: Yes. There are codes but none of them make this toe a full Monkey.